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Joke of the Day

"Why is it a bad idea to snort cocaine out of someone's butthole? It's been tainted"

"I'm happiest when people tell me ""Don't be a hero"" because there's absolutely no way I'm going to disappoint them."

"What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind? let's jack it."

"What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common? They all died in Tennessee"

"Acid rain is total bullshit. I stood in it for hours and didn't even hallucinate one time."

"Why did the duck fly Because he was high on Quack"

"A pirate with a steering wheel on his crotch walks into a bar The bartender says, ""You know you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"" And the pirate replies, ""Arrr, it's driving me nuts!"""

"Apparently other than the russian ties, another interesting revelation was released about Trump. He loves trickle-down economics."

"I invented a game where people get so stoned they can barely walk & chase each other around the yard. It's called...wait for it: Hash Tag."

"Why aren't there very many jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones? The punchline is too long."