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Joke of the Day

"Okay kids don't ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger's houses except on the day we worship the devil."

"Sanders is blaming Trump for violence at his rally... because you can't truly be a National Socialist until you can excuse your brownshirts violence."

"People should be able to spell arbitrary however the hell they want to."

"Yes, autocorrect, that's right. I hate that stupid ditch"

"(UK) Did you hear about the new brand of shampoo for pikeys? Go 'n' Wash"

"How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? ....a fssshhh..."

"JOB OPENING: Entry-level for recent college grads. Minimum 87 years of experience required."

"*bumps into cute girl while typing on calculator* oops! got a bit carried away inventorying my lizards *makes sure she sees the 99999999999*"

"I take my women just how I take my hair conditioner with silicone"