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Joke of the Day

"a fish walks into a bar..... the bartender asks ""what will it be?"" Fish replies "" am dying for a glass of water."""

"You know all those things that ""Have been shown to cause cancer in the state of California""? Seems they prove the state of California causes cancer."

"It's impossible to be a parent and stay on twitter so I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye. So this is your uncle, you live with him now."

"I decided to read War and Peace whilst walking over the Golden-Gate, I'd heard the abridged version was easier to finish."

"I'd like to share a joke with you that my 2yo nephew told me. 2yo: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? 2yo: I don't know. *leaves"

"Why are Christians so bad at Trigonometry ? They're afraid of sin"

"What happens when clowns get divorced? They end up in a custardy battle."

"Next dude that complains about the friendzone will be step-son zoned. I will literally marry your dad and step-son zone you. Try me."

"Why didn't the girl go into the haunted house? She didn't have the balls."

"JOSEPH: who did you name me after? ME: you were named after my grandfather GREGGNOG: what about me dad?"