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Joke of the Day

"A fun prank if your roommate is a cartoon character is to draw clothes on the mirror so he leaves the house not realizing he's naked."

"Looking at our latest Comcast bill and I can only pray that our daughter has zero aspirations for college"

"look. life is bad. evryones sad. we're all gona die. but i alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so r u gona take ur shoes off or wat"

"What did the keyboard say to the mouse? stop with the cheesey jokes!"

"Today my boss will learn that I am nowhere near mature enough to be left alone with a label maker."

"all pans are no-stick pans if you no-cook in them."

"What is a drug addicts favorite snack? Crack-ers"

"I don't have a drinking problem, if anything I'm too damn good at it."

"I almost did this stupid thing at work where I think for myself."

"Why can't you have a party on the moon? There's just no atmosphere"