17539

Joke of the Day

"I was going to make a dubai joke But all the good ones are overused, emirate?"

"Why can't the bicycle stand on its own ? Because its two tyred"

"Got a phone call today to do a stand up gig at a fire station... ... Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax."

"Mrs. Claus can't have kids Do you know why Mrs. Claus can't have kids? Because Santa only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney."

"I'm glad I'm not invited to Joan Rivers' funeral. She might be cremated and I hate the smell of burning plastic. Too soon?"

"Tweeting with an egg avatar is like showing up to a job interview in a sweatsuit."

"I was fired from my job for placing the vegetables in sexually suggestive ways Apparently you can't do that if you're a specials-eds teacher"

"A list of compelling arguments regarding the existence of God."

"My neighbor's burglar alarm goes off so often that people just ignore it. On the upside, their new plasma TV looks great in my living room."

"Do you like fish sticks?"