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Joke of the Day

"Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear ? Because he liked sole music !"

"Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses."

"Richmond's baseball team had midget wrestling last night, if anyone's looking for a city with rich culture and a progressive vibe."

"When I was a kid we were so poor... I had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat."

"The ugly tree Geeze, that's an ugly christmas tree but why do you keep it in the bathroom? That's where I store my toiletries."

"Fellas, imagine having your balls roughly kneaded for two days straight. Congratulations you just experienced menstrual cramps."

"What did the homophobic sheep say when he saw the two female sheep making out in the field? ""Oh, ewe"""

"Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need."

"Why did the Mexican food go to counseling? It wanted to taco bout his feelings"

"Son: ""Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"" Mom: *staring at dad Dad: *clenches fists Mom: ""don't..."" Dad: *sweats profusely Mom: ........ Dad: ""HI GAY. I'M DAD"""