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Joke of the Day

"The policeman asked me why I keep beating my wife... I told him I have a longer reach and superior footwork."

"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure."

"Hey Target, it's Mid October, calm the fcuk down!-Santa"

"my girlfriend said I have to give up my love of pointing out objects, or she would leave. I responded: ""well there's the door"""

"My mother is displeased with me. In other shocking news, water is wet and the sun is bright."

"A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it."

"Wanna hear a joke? Sleep. (I know, I don't get it either.)"

"Fox news host reacts to Caitlyn Jenner ... http://i.imgur.com/1ALkAky.gifv"

"Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed? Does any of this really matter..."

"Learn to solve your problems like a constipated mathematician... Just work it out with a pencil."