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Joke of the Day

"'Your legs, your thighs, they got me hypnotized' ~me talking to my KFC"

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"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ A gift for all redditors. It's called The Alphabet. You can use as much of it as you want, as many times as you want so that you will write in complete fucking sentenc"
"I like my women how I like my coffee Cold"
"I don't know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I fucking guarantee you they'd post pictures of them doing it on Facebook."
"What do you call a castrated unicorn? A eunuch-orn"
"Why is a dance like a bowl of cereal? They are both more enjoyable with dates!"
"Are you dylsexic? Probably."
"I forgot to turn my SWAG off before I went to bed. I woke up poor and working at McDonald's."
"How does Donald Trump keep a handle on integral equations? He grabs them by the +c."