174527

Joke of the Day

"These days people treat their cellphones like its a baby... ..except I never laugh when I drop my cellphone"

"Went to the corner shop... Bought four corners."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"If a 99lb woman ate one pound of nachos... Does that make her 1% nacho?"

"How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber? Raisin' Bran."

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Chef: What kind of bread would you like? We have wheat, rye, white... Me: Black bread. Chef: We don't have that. Me: Racist."

"Neverland Ranch Why did Michael Jackson build Neverland Ranch? He was fucking immature."

"If you want to find a cure for stupid, take a tissue sample from people who call and request songs they're already playing 50 times a day."

"My wife took me to the most amazing 3D movie I had ever seen last night. Half way through it I realized: we were at a play."