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Joke of the Day

"What is the best part about taking a shower? Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward."

"Charities - Because nothing shows how far your 2/month could go than a 100 million advertising campaign."

"I'm crap at telling jokes. I keep on punching up the fuck lines."

"Every time I eat fast food I have the thought 'It's kind of ok if I die. People die.'"

"This woman asked me if I had ever been in a stable relationship. I told her that I wasn't into livestock."

"Did you hear about the Italian husband who was talking during his sleep? He ended up giving his wife a black eye"

"I'm sorry, you can't check your disobedient child on this flight. Guess you'll have to carry on your wayward son"

"My wife and I tried anal for the first time... is it supposed to hurt this much? i couldn't sit upright for a while..."

"I Farted... I farted infront of my Jewish friend and he got offended, i shrugged and said ""what? A little gas never killed anyone"""

"What did the Leper say to the Prostitute? Keep the tip."