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Joke of the Day

"My mum asked me what i had planned for easter. I told her same as Jesus. Im going out on Friday and i will be back on Sunday"

"Chuck Norris can't fuck with Kanye! lool Chuck Norris is the only person Kanye West won't interrupt!"

"How long does it take for a black woman to take out the trash? 9 months."

"Men live better than women. First of all, they get married later and secondly, they die earlier."

"Thanks to a hangover, I was the douche wearing sunglasses inside the airport today."

"What is Spider-Man's favorite rice? Uncle Bens!"

"I left my wife for a bin man.... .... But he wouldn't take her"

"If you don't open your mouth when you yawn, you're a monster. I'm serious. Let that demon go. You're freaking everybody out."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay fifty bucks for a lentil on my chest."

"In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection."