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Joke of the Day

"My dog could not protect the house from robbers if they brought a vacuum cleaner."

Next Joke
 
"Why does the man go to the beach when he's hungry? Because of the sand which is there."
"It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. She never says anything, but I know it hurts that she gets less gifts because of how close Christmas is."
"If you're looking for the best time to spill things on yourself, might I suggest wearing a white shirt and right before an interview."
"Your mother is like a repost. No one wants or likes her, but almost everyone uses her."
"What's black, blue, and red all over? The Grudge at a rave."
"Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."
"How come ambassadors never get sick? They have diplomatic immunity."
"How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post? They like it!"
"How did the redditor get lots of downvotes? What is a pirate's favourite letter?"