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Joke of the Day

"Mom: Why is your room always so... Mom: Why is your room always so messy? Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die."

"Roses are red, I'm feeling blue There's one less gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo"

"Why don't SJW's like guns? They can't handle the trigger!"

"*goes on Facebook AGAIN* *reads 100,000th idiotic post* *thinks other people are stupid*"

"*Hands girl a card that says Be Mine* Girl: Aw that's so sweet *Pulls out a pickaxe* Me: Come on, do it I need some iron ASAP lady!"

"Why did the police arrest the pedo sheep? Because he was on the lam."

"What do you call a skeleton that been in the snow all night A numbscull"

"What does Bill Gates call it when someone drops a $20 bill on the ground? Littering."

"So I was at my local dyslexia meeting... And my friend turned to me and said, ""can you smell gas?"" I replied, ""are you kidding? I can't even smell my own name."""

"I like my cigarettes like my Instagram. \#nofilter Edit: learned formatting"