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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor just died of an overdose. He forgot to take his homeopathic sleeping pills."

"I'm going to find a cure for blindness. YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL ALL SEE!"

"I was suddenly awoken with a blowjob this morning That's the last time I fall asleep with my mouth open on the train"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, if you can get 'em in there."

"Why did the guy kick the broom out of his house? It swept with his girlfriend :P"

"[day 38 on the ark] NOAHS WIFE: we're out of food NOAH: don't worry, i have a contingency plan UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that"

"Rupert Grint bursts into the room, ""Mum, I just got a part in the Harry Potter movie!"" ""Serious?"" ""No, Ron."""

"I saw a kidnapping this afternoon.. so i woke i'm up. Hahaha"

"How can you tell a skinhead is shaved down there When the carpet matches the drapes"

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. It's seven."