172335

Joke of the Day

"You're so pretty, you could be in a beer commercial."

"Kim Kardashian makes me long for the days when girls like her were hired to show prizes on game shows and we never had to hear them speak."

"What gets larger every time I see my Girlfriend? My credit card bill."

"Last night I was visited by the ghost of Gloria Gaynor At first I was afraid, I was petrified."

"I bought these pants 50% off. I guess they're shorts now."

"Whats 2 + 2 ? A math problem."

"Jesus, don't take the wheel. Give me your keys. Sober up. *hands cup of water* DON'T TURN THAT INTO WINE AGAIN"

"Three Signs You're Getting Older I was told that there were three signs that you are getting older. The first is senility And I forget the other two."

"Deep After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world's problems is that people don't seem to carrot all."

"What's the opposite of the constitution? The prostitution."