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Joke of the Day

"Iguanas feel love but don't marry ..know why? Cos to Mariguana is illegal."

"Once killed a man with my SuperSoaker. (I'd been pumping it for a REALLY long time.)"

"I hate these services like Tinder and Grindr. I remember back when if you wanted to have sex, someone else had to make a huge mistake."

"Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring."

"I had to take my horse to get surgery last week. The doctor told me he's in stable condition."

"I talk a lot of shit for a girl with a blankie."

"If a stork brings white babies and a crow brings black babies, what brings no babies? A little Swallow."

"My wife is enjoying the attention I've been giving her lately & though painting a phone on her face is inconvenient, it's saved our marriage"

"Have you heard of nihilism? Its kind of a Nietzsche philosophy."

"What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint."