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Joke of the Day

"*Social justice ppl arrive at nintendo headquarters in japan* ""Game... BOY?"" *merciless, graphic slaughter of nintendo employees ensues*"

"BREAKING NEWS Literally to be eliminated from the English language in 2015 Use it while you can, white girls"

"What do dads never forget to include in their ""dad"" jokes? PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave."

"25 pumpkins only 90's kids could spice"

"I told my disbelieving Egyptian friend that he was standing in a river... ...but he was in The Nile."

"If Jesus was hangin out at the WTC in the 21st century.. Would he have been killed by Pontius Pilot?"

"Your Honor the defense rests. They are so tired. Aww they look like angels when they sleep. Kinda makes u forget about the double homicide"

"[getting pulled over] Me: R u a bear cop? Bear cop: Is that a problem? Me: As long as you're not a maul cop *mauls me for bad pun*"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic occultist? He sold his soul to Santa."

"Return policy: ""If for any reason you are not satisfied..."" Ok, I'm not satisfied because dwarves and rockets."