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Joke of the Day

"*Social justice ppl arrive at nintendo headquarters in japan* ""Game... BOY?"" *merciless, graphic slaughter of nintendo employees ensues*"

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized. **x-post r/ScienceHumour**"

"Dog in a Bar A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"""Vini Vidi Venti"" --I came, I saw, I ordered the large coffee at Starbucks."

"You're so vain, you probably think me driving by your house 27 times at 2 a.m. wearing all black with binoculars is about you, don't you."

"If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don't love anything."

"I can't wait until Twitter gives you the option to block yourself. I say some real dumb shit on here and I shouldn't have to deal with it."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Nothing. she couldn't speak while gagging"

"A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my tail light was out? I said, 'Uh uh. I drive on the inside of my car'"

"Yo mama so poor when she found a penny on the ground she thought she won the lottery"