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Joke of the Day
"I just had a massive case of diarrhea... And I couldn't tell if it was the watermelon or the nuts"
Next Joke
"After we got the divorce she let me have everything. Except the jewelry, and of course something to keep it in. I call it ""the house"".."
"Fool me Once - Shame on You. Fool me Twice- Shame on Me. Fool me Thrice- What are you, a Nigerian Scamster?"
"What's the difference between a bmw driver and a porcupine? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside."
"At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast... ...but now I'm fully invested."
"A man goes to the library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide, the librarian turns around and says ""fuck you, you wont bring it back"""
"If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I'm very skilled at shooting aliens this way"
"What's the difference between gay men and a refrigerator? Fridges don't fart when you pull the meat out."
"The best thing about fucking 26 year olds is... there's 26 of them."
"I like to diffuse situations with humornnnnnnnnnAnd a machete"