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Joke of the Day

"How did Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalogue. ba dum tss"

"My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was rightI feel ten years older already."

"Why did the black man cross the road? To catch the chicken (Btw I came up with this myself)"

"A man said to me ""hit me with your rhythm stick you four-eyed sod."" That's just adding insult to Ian Dury."

"I give frequent lectures about informative and interesting topics underwater. For academic porpoises."

"Ok..I get it now..When you spoke in a normal voice it was unclear what you meant but once you screamed the identical words it all made sense"

"Have you heard of the new fishing net technology that is 300% more effective? cod damn it"

"Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy? Because Opey never delivered."

"What are the fattest letters? O.B.C.D"

"Therapist: Do you have any regrets? Me: Well, this one time Therapist [pinches bridge of nose] Other than buying fat-free salad dressing."