171959

Joke of the Day

"Do you know why they put cotton balls in the top of prescription bottles? To remind black people that they picked cotton before they sold drugs."

"I was searching for the end of the line. I tap a guy on the shoulder and ask, ""excuse me sir, are you the last person in line?"" Dude turns around, looks at me funny and goes, ""no, you are."""

"I don't know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I fucking guarantee you they'd post pictures of them doing it on Facebook."

"My Grandfather I'll never forget my grandfather's last words.. ""Are you sure you're holding the fucking ladder?"""

"Which video game do Mexicans play the most? Borderlands"

"I love Summer. Two weeks of doing absolutely f*ck all. And, once my boss gets back, I get to go on holiday as well."

"Son: Mom mom at school they call me a liar Mom: Shut up, you dont even go to school"

"I'm a heavy sleeper... Also, a heavy awaker... Okay, I'm fat."

"Cinderella What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged!"

"My teacher told me I should stop being consecutively late to school... I guess she can't handle people who are Re-tardy."