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Joke of the Day

"Being a Zombie doesn't sound that bad. You don't have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now."

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face."

"How was copper-wire invented? Two jews and a penny."

"I know some scientists who worked on LIGO. I am so glad to gravitate around people who make waves."

"Want to hear my favorite joke? 729271"

"What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra? The whole place turned into a Hardee's."

"Oscar I hear Oscar Pistorius is struggling in jail so far. He's not getting on too well with the food. The good news is though, he is yet to have the runs."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side ripped off by a shark? He's all right now."

"Did you hear the latest news from black holes? Nothing has come out"

"My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us."