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Joke of the Day

"What did the pony say after he coughed? ""Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse."""

"As I get older and continue to meet new people... I realize that swallowing should be more of a thing."

"Just went down to get my driver's license renewed but this time I made sure I was drunk for the picture. Now if I ever get pulled over for drunk driving, they'll just think I'm spastic."

"Just saw a Fiat & a Mini Cooper get into a head on collision. It was horrible... there was glitter everywhere."

"why is it hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac? because they always take things literally!"

"You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me."

"I like dating black girls... Because I don't have to meet their dad."

"I've got an Intracranial Embolism... ...at least, that's what my doctor told him when I mentioned that I had Bad Blood stuck in my head."

"*emergency room* NURSE: ""we're losing him!"" DOCTOR [pouring like a lot of buckets of ice water on his head]: ""IM WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN"""

"Started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can't hear me through binoculars."