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Joke of the Day

"After I dislodged my head from the drywall, I had 2 thoughts: 1) Wow, this new Metallica song is really good and 2) I may need new drywall"

"Why can t my 14 year old friend drive... Because she s a woman"

"The Welsh people were the first people to invent the condom by using sheep's intestine. The English later improved the concept by removing it from the sheep first."

"I think everyone should stop ogling Kobe. He's not a piece of meat."

"Why do we rub ourselves To rubadubdbub"

"[offensive] What do books have that Mexican's don't? Papers"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? You'd think it was some really obscure number, but it's just one, ironically."

"hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm going to argue with another stranger in your mentions for hours maybe"

"Why married guys are fat A single guy opens the fridge, sees nothing interesting there; he goes to bed. A married guy goes in the bedroom, sees nothing interesting there; he goes to the fridge."

"The crowd at this bar is so young someone just got slimed."