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Joke of the Day

"After I dislodged my head from the drywall, I had 2 thoughts: 1) Wow, this new Metallica song is really good and 2) I may need new drywall"

"Somebody just told me they were bad but they didn't say ""cha'mone"" afterward so haha cmon guy how bad can you be"

"How many court cases have been thrown out because the judge needs a unanimous decision & the jury is made up entirely of dentists"

"A blonde walks into a bar... Ouch."

"What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs? Banner."

"""Who watches this shit?"" - Me, watching shit"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? racial prejudice"

"Scavenger hunt! Find a parent in Walmart who isn't scowling or being verbally and physically abusive to their children."

"When I'm drunk, I'm like South Park I'm crude and offends everyone"

"Some people don't like vegetable puns... but I don't carrot all about their opinions."