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Joke of the Day

"Two friends were walking by the ballet museum... When one points and asks his friend, ""Is that statue a foot?"" To which his friend replies, ""No, it's about four and a half feet."""

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"What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth? Don't copy Michelle on this one."
"My friend is into necrophilia, pedophilia and beastiality. It's not as bad as it sounds, he just fucks scrambled eggs."
"What's black and white and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her head."
"Q: What do you call a cow who's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated."
"""Yep, I'm going to jail."" When a State Trooper takes the same exit off the highway*"
"Just saw the book ""Marriage for Dummies."" Shouldn't there be an ""is"" in there somewhere?"
"English teacher asks me, ""What's an example of pleonasm? ""Troublesome Woman"""
"PJ time - Slogan behind an auto rickshaw I couldn't afford Volkswagen. Thus, Auto"
"NSFW Hey girl, are you a doctor? I need to speak to one because you've given me an erection that's lasted longer than 4 hours."