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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a car? A windshield viper."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Argo ! Argo who ? Argo down to the beach for my holidays"

"Whats the difference between a woman president and pizza? Most people like the idea of pizza better."

"Her: Ok, on 3 lets,say what movie our marriage is most like. 1.. 2.. 3 *simultaneously* Her: THE NOTEBOOK Me: SHAWSHANK REDEMPTIONOTEBOOK"

"my ex-wife still misses me but her aim is getting better!! joaje"

"Adults with big round heads have kids with big round heads so for god sakes please try to date outside your head shape."

"Egypt needs a new president. I need a summer job. This could be perfect."

"Quick question: can I breastfeed if I've had implants?"

"McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead."

"Day 20. Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy Leg Man."