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Joke of the Day
"Slept with my makeup and now my pillow looks like the shroud of Revlon."
Next Joke
"What do you call a robber who looks like David Beckham? Bandit like Beckham"
"Wife: [eats hotdog, spills mustard & relish on her blouse] Me: HELLO TEMPTRESS"
"If you light a fire for a man... He'll be warm for the whole day. If you throw a man in a fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"if swimming is really exercise then why dont fish have mega muscles. yeah i thought so. drain the pool so we can skateboard in it"
"What is the correct way to refer to an OP who resides in Europe? The Continental OP."
"What's the worst part about being a redneck? Having to see your ex at family gatherings."
"What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume? He was convicted of fragrancy."
"This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES"
"""I don't know what else to say..."" Me, giving my husband false hope"