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Joke of the Day
"My stages of drunk: 1) onstage 2) backstage 3) hostage"
Next Joke
"I opened what I thought was a can of whoop-ass, but it turned out to be Whoomp! And there it is, all over my floor."
"A preschooler refused to sleep during naptime... He was charged with resisting a rest"
"A Nicki Minaj song makes way more sense if you make up your own lyrics."
"What's the best thing about doing 23 year olds!? There's 20 of them."
"I've reached the most difficult moment in parenting: explaining to my son why the first Star Wars movie is Episode 4."
"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? They got 6 months each."
"What's the big deal? Gay people could always get married. Just not to each other."
"What do you get when you put a tiny umbrella in a supercar? A Lambortini."
"If it wasn't for the internet, I would think ""12 Years A Slave"" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage."