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Joke of the Day
"What goes red and white, red and white, red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a hill."
Next Joke
"I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called ""I Just Can't Wait To Be King""."
"""Ducklings are baby ducks,"" I say as I set the appetizer on the table. ""Enjoy your dumplings, Ma'am."""
"Only death will keep me from you. Or cake. Or Netflix. Or kittens....hold on, I have a list."
"Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam? When the commander yelled ""GET DOWN"", they all started dancing."
"What do you call a cannibal who eats quadriplegics? Vegetarians."
"Last time I did drugs I dated an All-In-One Printer for 3 days, so no thank you."
"How do you think the unthinkable? Run your thip into an ithberg"
"My new thesaurus is terrible! Not only that but it's also terrible."
"One bad mushroom trip in high school and here I am 15 years later still sexually attracted to Rosie O'Donnell."