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Joke of the Day

"We had gay burglars in our house last night... They broke in and rearranged all of our furniture."

"I'm not in favour of student loans. I think people should get their own student."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? The people in the world trade center, these mother fuckers blew threw a hundred stories in two seconds!"

"I think it's fun how Hollywood gets to make as many Superman movies as they want until they get it right."

"Did you know a hummingbird has to consume half its body weight in sugar every day and that I don't have to do that but I still also do that?"

"How do Jews celebrate Christmas? By dancing around the cash register singing ""What a Friend We Have in Jesus"""

"Want to know how to stop the ""Not My President"" Riots? Play the National Anthem and they'll all kneel."

"The only laid I'm getting... is laid off."

"Why couldnt the feminist screw in a lightbulb? Because there was a glass ceiling."

"Dear math, I dont wanna help you find your ""x"" she left you, move on"