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Joke of the Day

"How many Ferguson police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None... they just shoot the room for being black."

"According to the manual, I can have an extra ten Weight Watchers Points if I start breast feeding."

"How many ______ does it take to _____ a ______ ? And go."

"My house is really small until I can't find my phone."

"[turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won't be laughing when it's time to pick it all up"

"My girlfriend has her very own Indian name.... Running Late."

"Pregnancy test that says, ""Your cart has 1 item in it"""

"Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to the other side."

"That awkward moment the drug dealer charges you extra for the briefcase."

"*licks the powdered sugar off the donuts and puts them back* Boss: I kinda like these new low-cal donuts. Real moist."