16816

Joke of the Day

"What does a child without arms get for x-mas? gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet"

"Billy has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. Billy has diabetes."

"I save a ton of money on teeth whitening by not smiling."

"I have somewhere around 300 karma I intend to drop it to 0 by having human-like opinions on the wrong subreddits"

"What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer? Murdered. (If you don't get it: ""cross"" can mean ""betray"")"

"Mad Cow Disease Q: Why do cows get the mad cow disease? A: Anyone would go mad if someone squeezes your tits four times a day, but only let you have sex once an year!"

"whats a feminist least favorite football team? MANchester united"

"What did the cannibal say to his co-worker? You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner."

"A man walks into a pet shop and says: ""Give me a wasp."" The shopkeeper replies: ""We don't sell wasps."" He says: ""There's one in the window."

"""I'm just gonna pull on weird animal parts until something comes out that I can drink"" -guy who discovered milk"