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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Monica Lewinsky became a republican? The democrats just left a bad taste in her mouth"

"My friend from Pakistan said he hates his job and can't take it anymore ""It will get better"", I said. ""You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 12 years old."""

"Can you guys give me the names of some famous athletes and prisoners? I'm making a pros and cons list."

"[ring] Me: Hi Mom: You picked up. Me: I know M: Why Me: You called M: I wanted to leave a message Me: Just tell me M: Hang up [ring] Me: Hi"

"The only thing I have to offer men is that I don't ask questions during a movie."

"What do you call a dog that can preform magic? A Labracadabra."

"What do you call a well-endowed Asian man? Hung Lo"

"Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him"

"Come on Canada, first Celine, then Nickelback, NOW Bieber!? Are you TRYING to provoke a war?"

"I complained to my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said ""Don't be ridiculous! Everyone hasn't met you yet"""