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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag? One is made of plastic and dangerous for children to play with... And the other carries groceries."

"[teaching my 3yo the alphabet] ""Ok what's a word that starts with Q"" cucumber ""That's uh... I don't... let's pick this up again tomorrow"""

"How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/jokes? Only one. **/r/Jokes** is **widely known** to be a **breeding ground** for new, **original jokes**."

"Did you hear about Sanic the Hedgehog ""Gotta Go Fast?"" It is a running joke on the internet"

"What do you call a burden of a bookstore A liabilitirary *say it out loud*"

"Why do Ninjas always wear black? The skilled ones don't."

"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."

"If you were born in Poland and are now taking a piss in England, what are you? European"

"What did one strawberry say to the other? ""If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"""

"Standing in the boys clothes section at Kohls waiting for my wife. I just realized I look creepy. Better move to the little girls section."