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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space? A lunar-tick"

"What the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway."

"what is michael J. Fox's favourite beverage? a vanilla shake"

"Wife: I can't find my phone Me: Want me to call it? Wife: Sure, I - Me: PHONE, HERE BOY"

"The Queen is so afraid of how the vote will turn out, she put Sam Smith in a boat circling Scotland singing ""Stay With Me"" into a megaphone."

"This 5p bag tax is great I can get a 10bag for 50p"

"My kid has slept over at Jared Fogle's house plenty of times and there's never been a problem. And as long as Jared keeps my Subway card full of points he will continue not having any problems."

"Why was the mermaid embarrassed and crying in the classroom? She forgot her Algae-bra. Ha.."

"How do you start a rave party in Ethiopia? Glue bread to the ceiling."

"Two fish are swimming upstream and one of the fish hits his head against concrete. He looks to the other, and says ""dam"""