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Joke of the Day

"I showed my 3-year-old Star Wars. It blew his mind. Seriously, how do you reboot a kid? Or should I just get a new one?"

"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."

"My essay question is: ""The best Track and Field event is the one where they throw the circular object as far as they can."" ""Discus."""

"Give us your most offensive joke (with one challenge) No Jew, black, Helen Keller or dead baby jokes. Feeds are always filled with those. Let's see something different."

"What do you call a guy who fucks himself? [Ethan Hawke](http://i.imgur.com/tXrW7HU.jpg)."

"Masking tape never makes a very realistic mask."

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet."

"Whhat do jellybeans and the world have in common? Everyone hates the black ones!"

"What do you tell a cow blocking a road? Mooove"