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Joke of the Day

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink... Not if Guantanamo Bay has anything to say about it."

"If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears."

"If Betty White killed someone, I wouldn't turn her in."

"My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing. Apparently, ""Heating your dinner"" wasn't a good answer."

"I went to a zoo one time and all they had was a dog. It was a shih tzu."

"How do you know when your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"I am a virtuous woman, that's why I cost more!"

"*Adobe update puts on fake moustache and glasses* Hi, my name is iOS 7, would you like to download updates?"

"So I was at a party, All the refreshments are lined up on a table; We're still waiting on the *punchline*."

"I changed my Ipod's name to Titanic Its Syncing"