166718

Joke of the Day

"My mom always told me to treat people how I want to be treated but... It's not nice to just spank people & pull their hair."

"Fifteen years ago we had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope. Now we have no cash, no jobs and no hope."

"thats one giant leap for mankind, and also a giant leap for puppies. scruffy keep your helmet on"

"If Batman doesn't wear underwear with my picture all over them, then this relationship is as one-sided as I feared."

"The Most Dangerous Place on the Planet! Those BASTARDS!!! It's a [death trap](http://www.savagemill.com/wp-content/uploads/StoreFront_HandsOfTime.jpg)..."

"I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away."

"Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills."

"What do US Jews call Santa? Sennah."

"There was once a very unlucky man Crossing the road , he got hit by a truck . Then on his way to heaven , got hit by a plane"

"*pulls home cooked meal out of oven* *family awkwardly stares at me* Yup, this is definitely not my house."