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Joke of the Day

"Superman's first day at the daily planet. Boss: Since you're new, you might need supervision. Clark: I have that, superhearing too."

"Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home."

"The Native Americans used to trust the white man, now they have their reservations."

"What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"What sound does a dead cow make? BOOOOOOOOOO"

"If a black guy, a Mexican, and a redneck are all in a car together, who's driving? The police."

"What do you call an Internet mystery? An e-nigma."

"ME: I'll have the chicken dinner. WAITER: Yes, sir. *throws corn on the floor* Here, chick chick chick. ME: *pecks at the ground* Excellent."

"today, my girlfriend asked me for a dick pic.... but the NASA didn't let me use the Hubble Space telescope.."

"I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard..."