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Joke of the Day

"My gf thought it was so cute when she found out I owned a pair of tap shoes Until I got drunk, and put them on"

"Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!"

"There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery... One day the group leader comes in and says ""I see a lot of new faces this week... I must say, I'm disappointed!"""

"I bought a locket today and put my own picture in it.... Now I can truly think of myself as Independent."

"Did you hear about the gay football coach? He turns tight ends into wide receivers"

"My girlfriend started complaining about my lack of interest in her family. So I dated her sister.."

"Grammar The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit."

"So my fiancee rolls over, wakes me up, and says, ""honey, your alarm is going off."" I say..... ""pics or didn't happen."""

"What do you call a cow who has just had an abortion? De-calf-inated"

"A frog literally just intentionally threw himself under my lawn mower I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide. I hate myself. I'm sorry."