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Joke of the Day

"I'm on hold and My call is important to them."

"What's the difference between a politician and a computer? logic"

"A priest and a rabbi are in a boat they approach a bridge over the river and see a young boy standing there. The priest says to the rabbi ""Should we fuck him?"" The rabbi replies ""Out of what?"""

"A farmer counted 196 cows in the pasture. But he rounded them up and had 200."

"What do vampires make sandwiches out of? Self-raising dead."

"Do you know you can't hang a man with a wooden leg in Maine? You have to use a rope."

"Why was the UKIP voter angry? Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)"

"I hear it's snowing steadily in Istanbul... In fact, in Istanbul they can't stop the snowplow"

"What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ? A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!"

"What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework? He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear."