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Joke of the Day

"""What do we want?"" ""HEARING AIDS!"" ""When do we want them?"" ""HEARING AIDS!"""

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1, 2 and 3 Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"Ladies, are you having wine? Don't be shy. Let us know about it on all of your social media websites."

"The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge."

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his belt... The bartender asks: ""What the hell is a steering wheel doing there?"" the pirate replies: ""Arr, it's been driving me nuts"""

"Life would be more fun if every time we sneezed we lifted off the ground a few feet and came back down in slow motion"

"What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus? He never saw it coming."

"Why doesn't Meghan Trainor eat salmon? Because she's all about that bass"

"I went to see my doctor to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up."