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Joke of the Day

"When my first wife lost her credit card, I didn't report it. Because whoever found it was spending less than she was."

"What did the caught fish say to the fisherman in the net? Well man it's been reel."

"Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!"

"Mozart is rolling in his grave. In 50 years people will be saying ""Adele is rolling in the deep."""

"Her: Something's changed in here. Me: I put a new bulb in. Her: Well it's not very bright Bulb: Okay wow I'm like right here."

"People think having 5 sets of grandparents rules as kid on Xmas, and it does, but you pay for it on the back end having to go to 97 funerals"

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary, those who do not understand binary and those who did not expect this joke to be in ternary."

"Did the bionic monster have a brother ? No but he had lots of trans-sisters!"

"They call me the Titanic because I once went down on a bunch of Irish peasants"

"What do you call a guy who does not fart in public? A private tutor."