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Joke of the Day
"Why are barns so noisy? All the cows have horns"
Next Joke
"The Sun God Heloios was hungover today. Unable to lift his radiant body out of bed he just stuck his blazing bare bum over the horizon... ... it was the crack of dawn."
"Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue? Anyone can tuna piano, but nobody can piano a tuna!"
"[feeding baby Malaysian food] ""Here comes the plane"" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*"
"I was going to write up a guide on how to reserve yourself a spot on the front page of Reddit... ...but it's really not my place to say!"
"What did the jungle cat say to the comedian in a packed laugh house? ""Stop making me laugh, you are going to make me puma pants""."
"Birth control??? Here watch my kids for 10 minutes."
"Guy calls 911... ...says, ""Help me, help me, my wife's having a baby!"" 911 Operator says, ""Ok, sir, remain calm, is this her first child?"" Guy says ""No, it's her fucking husband!"""
"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the living room furniture."
"Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging.... ...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state."