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Joke of the Day

"My biggest fears are: -running out of chocolate -running out of coffee -running out of toilet paper -running"

"Why did the tree eat the other tree? It was coniferous.* *sorry"

"I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me."

"Procrastination is just like masturbation It feels good but you wish someone else would just do it for you."

"Could not decide how much lettuce to buy, until I got a second opinion two heads are better than one."

"Did you hear about Nursing Home Sports League Everyone gets atrophy at the end of the season."

"When hoes say, new year new me... they really mean new guys, new dick."

"What's the difference between a fish and a mountain goat? Fish muck about in fountains..."

"Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal? Because 7 8 9 A"

"A skeleton walks into a bar ... ... he says "" Gimme a Beer ... and a Mop !"