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Joke of the Day

"My dog did this i was going outside for 5 minutes and I told my dog not to poop in the house. When I came back, he had pooped in the house."

"Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? A: She said they were pretty good but they might offend some Puerto Ricans."

"Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers."

"[Frugal] I ran behind a bus all the way home and save $2.25. Got home and girlfriend mocked me saying had I run behind a cab, I would have saved $15."

"I think most people in California replaced being polite with putting avocado in everything they eat."

"I haven't got the nut ratios just right yet, so it's more of a trial mix."

"Christmas is great! You can sit on the lap of a total stranger and no one is offended."

"Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on. Boom, problem solved!"

"The ultimate chicken crossing the road joke So why did the chicken cross the road? Because your momma's so fat and she seems to like chicken."

"I wanted to tell a Lord of the Rings joke.... but all the good ones Aragorn"