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Joke of the Day

"I was the first person to install trampolines in musician's tour buses and now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon."

"I know why my saturdays are so shitty now... because there's always a turd in it."

"Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally."

"(Waiter) ""What can I get you sir?"" (Gastronomist) ""Something with a simpler plot."""

"When is Jesse Jackson going to notice how segregated Neopolitan ice cream is?"

"What do you do with a Rhinoceros with 3 balls? You walk him and pitch to the giraffe."

"Thanks for a lovely evening, I had a great time. Sure, I'll come in for a coffee. You have a lovely apartmeMY GOD that is a lot of Swastikas"

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working I'm going to my mum's house."" So, I opened the fridge's door, the light came on and the juice was cold. - What the hell did she mean?"

"What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite beer? Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself."

"How do you say brassiere in German? Keepemfromfloppin"