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Joke of the Day

"hilarious joke my penis size"

"The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part."

"The awkward moment when you say, ""I love you,"" then the pizza delivery guy says, ""That'll be $12.46, please."""

"Mom I get nervous on dates & always sweat. ""Wear something that doesn't show stains"" [5 hours later] How was your date? She hated my poncho."

"Knew a guy who wore a shirt that just said ""hentai"" to work knowing his boss couldn't write him up without admitting he knew what hentai is"

"How does Yoda spend his time. He mostly just sits on his log, watching the Dagobah."

"The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you're having a velociraptor."

"Why Couldn't the Billionaire Fit through the circular door? He was too eccentric."

"What's an algebra teachers favorite animal? A grr-affe http://metalinjection.junipconcepts.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Giraffe-Tongue-Orchestra.jpg?1fed28"

"I hate it when people say I'm sexist. How can I be sexist when I'm half female on my mother's side?"