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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I feel like Valentine's Day was invented by a guy who had way too many chocolate covered strawberries."

"Patient: Tell me honestly how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine but your gums will have to come out."

"What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's father have in common? They pulled out too late."

"Forget everything you learned in College.... ""Forget everything you learned in College, you won't need it working here."" ""But I never went to college."" ""I'm sorry your not qualified to work here."""

"Q: What is a monster's favourite game? A: Swallow the leader."

"What do you call a blonde geek with cancer? A dumb terminal"

"The deeper the pit you're falling into, the more chance you have to learn how to fly."

"Back from my bike ride and I feel fit as a fiddle ... the fiddle, ya know, that most athletic of instruments..."

"How do Russians in the taiga make fun of each other online? -bullying"

"What's the difference between a robber and a politician? Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money."