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Joke of the Day

"girls you can't take a picture in slutty clothing and glasses and label it ""nerd lol"" you're not a nerd, you're a whore who found glasses."

"My pastry factory has been pretty successful... So far we've had a good turnover."

"[Job Interview] Sir, it says here you're part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod"

"What's the difference between a baby and a submarine? I've never been in a submarine."

"My wrists hurt every time I drive through a tunnel with passengers. The doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel."

"2 guys walk into a bar... the third one ducks"

"""Real men like a woman with curves"" - Fat Chicks"

"Seeing Kenya on a map is like seeing a pussy for the first time. It's lower than I thought it was."

"Why didn't the life guard save the hippy? He was too far out, man."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? One or two thrown hard enough to the head should do the trick. Maybe one if it's really hot."