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Joke of the Day
"What's pink and red and goes 100MPH. A baby in a blender."
Next Joke
"North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Woops, wrong sub"
"Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion."
"So what do you guys think my odds are of getting hit by a car if I went out on my road bike right now? 4/20?"
"What do you call an Arabic woman being double penetrated? A sandbitch"
"If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah? A Mormon"
"Paddy needs to get his shit together"
"Startup idea Dating app for pedophiles, Kinder. [huh?](/s ""Yiddish for 'children'. Also, 'pssss, wanna buy a startup?'"")"
"Back in the day, I took $5 to the store and came out with.. 3 bags of chips, a pack of snickers, 2 bottles of coke, a newspaper and a bottle of whisky. And today? CCTVs everywhere!"
"me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD"